Endgame

I’ve spent the last several years trying to find the right hustle. I inundated myself with self-help and entrepreneurial books thinking if I found just the right one, just the right list of tips and tricks and…

Nothing of any value ever came of it. Had I chosen one and focused my efforts, I probably could have found some kind of financial success, however mediocre. But as I bounced around from idea to idea, I felt constantly like I was drowning, everyone else swimming past with their successful hustles. I was stuck, unable to choose which stroke to employ, and so choosing none and all.

Slowly sinking.

I spent years trying to hack my productivity. Trying to do more in less time. Hustling. All I had to show for it was a few bouts with depression and a very minimal bit of progress in my creative efforts.

It’s just not for me. Sometimes, I’d realize it and step away from a week, maybe two. Then the secret rules would kick in: if I didn’t work harder, if I didn’t hustle, how would I achieve my goals? And so that fear of failure always pulled me back in.

But why?

The thing that kept pulling me back was my vision of the endgame: my ideal life. Following the example of Taylor Pearson I even wrote it up like a screenplay. It gave me something to visualize, an end goal to strive for. I read through it and visualized it every morning to keep up the motivation for the hustle.

I did it this morning, too.

And finally, I realized: why don’t I just live this life now?

Of course, that thinking might be harder depending on what your perfect day looks like, but for me, my perfect day isn’t complicated. It isn’t waking up on the beach every day and drinking champagne in my private jet on the way to lunch in Paris. That would be a great day, of course, but it’s not what matters to me in the long run.

My perfect day is waking up on my own time, having a slow breakfast, a cup of tea, and spending the morning with my wife. It’s going to work on a project motivated by passion, not money. It’s sitting in the park with a book and reading until my wife is finished with the job she loves, then spending the evening together. It’s hearing from my kids, happy in their own lives, and winding down with a delicious dinner, a relaxing evening, and a cozy bed.

Perfect.

Perhaps you see the obvious question already. The hindsight question. The question so obvious it took me years to see it.

“Why don’t I live like this now?”

There’s a secret rule in my head that says anything I do has to be for money, because time itself is money, and I need to earn all the money I can now so I can retire, maybe early, but at least not late.

Then, and only then, can I live the life I truly dream of.

But why? Why didn’t I have a slow cup of tea this morning? Why didn’t I check in with the kids more now, while they’re still living at home? Why didn’t I sit in the park and read?

If I live my life looking at the endgame, working hard to get to a certain lifestyle when I’m in my sixties, what about the years I’ve spent to get there?

What a waste of life.

Slow down.

Step away from the hustle.

Let life be the journey and the goal.

Today, I’m not going to chase my five-year plan. I’m not going to streamline my productivity or find a new side hustle.

I’m going to make a cup of tea and grab a good book.

I’m going to enjoy the endgame.

Today.

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